Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Anyone got a carrot?

Guest Blogger: Robber Rabbit

Wa-Hey-HEY! Robber Rabbit here. Still a Robber an’ still a Rabbit. I think I’ll slap that at the top of the website, seein’ as the duck’s flown south for the winter leavin’ me an’ that Penguin in charge. No-one round – I’ll rob the place an’ take it home to Mrs Robber Rabbit, who’ll be dead chuffed. Makes a change from all the other stuff I rob that’s of no use to man, beast nor cute fluffy bunny. Like the bathroom scales I half inched, an’ a job lot of Hindi language translations of the last Atomic Kitten album, Michael Barrymore’s career and a bath full of Brut 33 aftershave. Utterly useless.

On the plus side, I nobbled the Golden Carrot out of the Tower of London too the other day, but everyone’s so busy runnin’ round in circles looking for Prince Charles’s pink oboe, they haven’t even noticed it’s gone yet. Good work there by myself – jus’ sneaked in, robbed it, leavin’ all the useless crowns an’ stuff behind, an’ made off at top speed with my sidekick, Getaway Driver Hamster at the wheel. An’ jolly tasty it was too, served up with some luvverly carrots, carrots, lettuce and carrots.

Any road up, I was mentioning the other week to the lads in D Wing what hard work it is bein’ a robber, a ducker an’ diver an’ all that, so I’ve tried to give goin’ straight a bit of a go, an’ set up me own business. Totally 100% legit, an’ not a front for hooky gear at all, on me mother’s grave. So, free advert time, if any of you punters work in the restaurant trade, or just like a good bit of nutritious health food, then I’m your rabbit.

Robber Rabbit, supplier of fresh and quality raisins to the catering trade, that’s me.

Raisin, anyone? You wouldn’t know they’ve been on the floor or nothin’.

The Scaryduck Archive

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