Friday, January 04, 2013

An EPIC letter to Hampshire County Council

Dear Hampshire County Council 

Congratulations on being the number one county council on the central south coast of England, a position you've achieved despite stiff opposition from those bastards in Dorset. 

Having recently moved to Hampshire, and drawing on my experience of living in other lesser counties (for eg Dorset), I thought I should write to you and offer a couple of suggestions to make the central south coast's premier county even better! 

For a start, there's your county town of Winchester. Picturesque, historic, but a bit flat. Why not use your powers and rename the place to give it the vim and gusto the south's best county town deserves. Pulling on my experience of online communities, I've come up with this: 

 EPIC WINchester 

Yeah? YEAH?! That's what the people of Hampshire want and deserve. Make it so. 

Also, ALDERSHIT. Because you can. 

 I am not mad. 

Your new pal Albert O'Balsam 
Fleet (Soon to be renamed Galactic Fleet HQ), Hampshire


Vicus Scurra said...

Hampshire was doing fine without you, you know.

Mr Crocus said...

We call it Champshire. Because it's the best.

WeezaFish said...

Awesome. Just.

Shade said...

You forgot Amazingstoke!

Richard said...

Anonymous, that's a really shit pun on Southampton.