Narf! Zort!

Narf! Zort!

Riddle me this - why don't you see Pinky and the Brain on TV these days? PatB were the animated adventures of two genetically engineered lab mice - one a village idiot and one an evil genius - bent on taking over the world. Random quote: "Naaaarf!" Another random quote: "Egad! Your head is like a really clean carrot". Another another random quote: "Poit!". And all this from the none-more-massive mind of Steven Spielberg, who, after Schindler's List could have done with a few laughs.

And I'll tell you why it's not on the box any more. It's political dynamite, that's what it is, and the allegory is there for all to see. Pinky is cleary George W Bush, the loveable idiot you can't help but trust even when he's going to bring about the end of the world in front of your very eyes; while Brain can only be the sweary, conniving Dick Cheney, both trapped in a laboratory which is an obvious allegory for the Iraqi conflict, unseen hands - the power of the House of Saud - having them running through mazes and pushing long, spiky electrodes up their bottoms. Spielberg, as usual, was years ahead of his time.

Is it a coincidence that PatB disappeared at the same time George wangled his way into the White House? I THINK NOT. As usual, the American media cowed by aggressive powerbrokers, caves in to the power behind the throne. While there should be a concerted Bring Back Pinky and the Brain Campaign, they are still tied in knots over forged memos and Janet Jackson's nork.

"And what are we going to do now, Brain?" "Same as we do every night - Try to take over the World!"

Edit: "A Bring Back Pinky and the Brain campaign, you say?" e-mails Emrys, "Why certainly!" Naaaarf!

Woo! Yay! Thursday!

My Wednesday night viewing of Property Ladder was spoiled, spoiled I say, by the sight of a huge lump on the front of Sarah Beeny. You mean to tell me that *sob* she's promised her lightly-oiled body to another man? How dare a married wonky-eyed celebrity with enormous norkage have sex with her husband! I daren't watch Location Location Location any more just in case Kirstie Allsopp goes through with her sex change operation. Oh celebrities - why do you betray me so?

The Thursday vote-o is a simple one, as I will be up in That London for a media conference. Peruse the following compreshensive list and choose-sir!

* Ceiling: "Poring frantically over his tattered copy of The Da Vinci Code, it soon became perfectly clear: All Your Base really did Belong To Us, and it was far too late to do anything about it."

That is all.