Irrational Fears

Irrational Fears

Many kids are scared of monsters under the bed, ogres and bogeymen lurking in wardrobes and the cupboard under the stairs. Some of these unfortunates have even given a name to their fear as the screams ring out deep into the night. In Scaryduckling's case, it is Wigglewig.

"Wigglewig coming." Two words to strike at the heart of a nervous little girl that won't sleep with the light off, wouldn't go upstairs without adult company. Thank God, then, for the downstairs toilet.

The Great Fear of Wigglewig got to the point that a good night's sleep could noly be guaranteed with the re-training of Scaryduckling's favourite friend - Robber Rabbit - as Kung Fu Bunny, a third dan capable of fighting off the Wigglewig menace. He may look cute and fluffy, but he'll kick your face off for a carrot given half the chance.

And the source of her fear? The monster that had Scaryduckling screaming in the night, the mooncalf that still has her unable to sleep without a night light? Wigglewig is the toilet brush. And Christ on a bike, I don't blame her.

Mine was buttons. Going to the panto at Christmas was a nightmare.