"Man U killed Rod Hull"

"Man U killed Rod Hull"

One straight from the "Oh, fuck NOOOOO!" files.

I've just read that Toby Hull - son of the gravitionally challenged flighltess Rod Hull - has taken up the Emu and is planning to bring the thing back to our television screens.

With Jumanji drums beating in the distance, Toby stuck his hand up the bird's arse and took him to Crewe for the panto. There followed the usual violent fondling of peoples' rude bits and death threats from Michael Parkinson.

And you thought the outcry over Jerry Springer was bad.

Spongolisor

A Scaryduck household dictionary:

* I'm gonnur spanner you up: General threat of mild violence by childs against parents
* Gone wonkolid: Broken, not functioning correctly. "Dad! The telly's gone wonkolid!"
* Dit: Drink (see tut) "Dad, can I have fresh dit?" "Say please" "I'm gonnur spanner you up."
* Tut: Drink (see dit) "Fresh tut!" etc...
* Clock-up: A term of endearment for cats. Derived from a set of circumstances rather too complex to explain. "What I lovely cat. I bet it's clock-up."

What words or phrases do you use solely in your household?