Send more phish!

Send more phish!

I have said in the past that those fraudsters going around trying to get you to send your banking details over the internet are onto a hiding to nothing with their pisspoor English. Sure, there are those who will click on any official-looking link that pops up in their email, and the crooks must be making a tidy living. But they could do better. I mean, take a look at this is a near-enough verbatim phishing e-mail I received recently:

Please!

Last night, our Barc1ays system hacked! It no joke!! Please, enter account number, password and credit card details at page "Security Center".

If no, we might closing account and forfeit money!!

Sincerely, your friends at Barc1ays Bank

Crap. Who are they trying to kid? Only a complete idiot would fall for that scam, and let's face it, our Russian Mafia friends are hardly using the medium of e-mail to maximise their profits.

Therefore, I propose, for a small fee, that someone with an adequate grasp of the English language - myself, for example - provide the valuable service as the author of phishing e-mails. It's a win-win (for me, anyway), and not at all likely to end with me skinned alive and dipped in salt by burly Siberian gangsters.

So, Mr Abramovich, this one's for free:

Dear %name,

This e-mail is issued under Article XXVII, paragraph 3.1 of our online customer agreement, and notifies existing customers of an improved security protocol at Natlays Midlloyd Bank.

This new security regime is intended to combat online fraud, and to defend our customers against so-called "phishing" e-mails and other criminal activities.

In order to complete the customer security process and to re-activate your account, please click on the link below to confirm your identity details with our security team. For your convenience, please have your bank card ready.

We need not remind you how serious we at Natlays Midlloyds treat fraud, and we assure our valued customers that we are doing everything in our power to ensure that your investments are protected from an increasingly sophisticated criminal fraternity.

In the interests of security, please do not send your customer details by e-mail, nor should you disclose confidential information over the telephone - we will never call you for these purposes. Please use the secure internet link provided.

Please click here to visit the Natlays Midlloyd homepage and confirm your customer details.

Sincerely Yours,

Tom Champagne, Head of Natlays Midlloyd Bank online security.

See the difference? I can almost hear those mouse buttons click. Ch-ching!