Phones for me

Phones for me

A couple of months ago, I won – or rather, lost – a competition. At a conference of the great and good of the broadcasting industry, we were jokingly asked by the MD of a company who will soon be providing live television to mobiles, to produce our mobile phones to see who had the worst.

I won. Greg Dyke came second, and resigned in a huff.

I got nothing.

That was the final straw. I have had enough of my phone, and it is high time The Brick was replaced.

And this is where you come in. Suggest-me-up a decent telephonic device for the modern-aged duck. My needs are simple:

* I use my phone as a phone.
* I cnt txt 2 sav my lf
* Though it pains me to give money to a company that supports The Forces of Darkness: Vodaphone Pay as you Go. In fact, I’ve used less than fifty quid’s worth of credit in four years, and was the first to complain when BT started digging up phone boxes.
* I want to impress people with my dazzling taste in ringtones, and demand a unit straight out of Star Trek.
* And a camera.

It’s all a plot by The Man to track us all down and control our minds, as you well know. So a phone with a free tin-foil helmet will be just dandy.

Tomorrow: Scary takes a stroll down Memory Lane and remembers The Best Poo Ever. You lucky, lucky people.