Accidental Radio Four Week, again

Accidental Radio Four Week, again

Today, I shall be mostly here, attending a rather large blogging event in the line of duty. I shall be pressing the flesh and rubbing shoulders* with the great and the good of the world of weblog. REAL bloggers, not make-pretend award-winning amateurs with nothing better to write about than their bowel movements and the best places my corrupt uncle can buy large-sized womens' shoes. And convincing wigs.

However, I shall not leave you without entertainment. I've left the radio on, and it's still Accidental Radio Four week:

The Shipping Forecast issued by the Met Office on behalf of the Maritime and Coastguard Agency at 0600 on 17th May 2006.

There are warnings of gales in Shannon, Rockall, Sole, Plymouth and Scary's pants.

The area forecasts for the next 24 hours.

Scary's Pants: Southwest six to gale eight, occasionally storm nine. Moderate, fog later, pressure falling more slowly. Outlook: wet, windy and warm.

And now, The Archers

Dum-de-dum-de-dum-de-dum, Dum-de-dum-de-daa-daaa

"'Oo-aaaarrrr!"

"Oo-aaarrr!"

"'Oo be that fella up in yonder pasture?"

"That be our new neighbour."

"Oo-aaarrrr?"

"Aye. Thems that say 'is name is Scary Duck. 'E's taken the lease on Grundy's Field after the previous owners, like, died, in that bizarre and hugely contrived space-hopper accident. You know, in the last episode with all the lesbians, hugely out-of-place social commentary and space-hoppers."

"Oo-aaaar? And what's that 'e' be doin'?"

"Plantin' tomatoes."

"Oooooh. Ah."

"Oi! Duck! Get yer trousers on an' GET ORF MOI LAAAAAAND!"

*The best way to achieve this is to walk up to the person you wish to rub shoulders with, distract them with a cry of "Hey! Look over there! It's Sarah Beeny!", and while they're looking for a wonky-eyed TV temptress, quickly rub your shoulder against his.