Scaryduck: Not Scary. Not a Duck

Welcome back Scaryduck!

Well, this is my last post here, possibly forever after Scary gets back and sees what I've done to the place. I've had wonderful fun being here though, and it was a pleasure meeting lots of you lovely readers! I will miss you.
I may do some further redecorating before I go, but I shall leave you for now with the winner of yesterday's Vote-O, being:

The One with the Patio Furniture

Last night at approximately 04:07 am, I was awakened by my dog Pudsey bursting into my room shouting "Get up! Come quickly! Something's happening in the garden!"*
I grabbed my dressing gown and a torch, and we went out the front to investigate.
I could hear a very odd noise - a sort of 'roawarraowar' followed by a 'thump-scrape-scrape' as if something was being dragged around on the patio by Gods alone knew what. All I could see by torchlight, was what seemed to be one of my garden chairs running around the garden. As patio furniture is not renowned for doing that sort of thing, I decided that further investigation was in order.
I went back in the house, unlocked the back door, switched the garden lights on, and with a great feeling of trepidation went outside.
At first I was unsure as to what I was seeing. Either I'd overdone my medication, or the chair was trying to shag something furry.
As soon as 'the chair' saw me, it stopped. Further away on the embankment were two foxes - one looking worried, the other I swear, seemed to be trying not to laugh.
My brave dog went back into the house to guard her biscuits leaving me alone to sort out whatever it was.
I got closer, bent down, and at last saw what had happened. A fox had somehow managed to get itself tied to the chair with the aid of a plastic carrier bag - how? I have absolutely no idea and probably never will - but that's what had happened.
I went to try and help free it, but as soon as I got close, the fox got scared, tried to run away, tripped over and managed to fall over backwards cracking me on the shins and sending me falling onto the ground before trying to make off with my chair.
Cursing the animal and rubbing my elbow, I went back into the house for a pair of scissors and gloves, then went out for 'Round 2'.
Many things have happened here that have led to the neighbours thinking that I'm 'a bit odd' but I'm sure if anybody saw me running around the garden at four in the morning, in my dressing gown, brandishing scissors whilst chasing a chair and shouting at it to 'calm down', they would probably have sent for the men in white coats and a large butterfly net.
Anyway, I finally got the fox to stop and calm down long enough for me to cut it loose. The fox and chair suffered no injuries, but I am rather bruised and a bit scratched.
I've had some interesting adventures at that time of night before, but that was certainly one of the most different...

*Lit.Trans. "BARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARKBARK"

PS. For those of you who would like to read the other tales from the Vote-O, you can find them over at mine - <- clicky