On evilling up your mobile phone

On evilling up your mobile phone

A visitor to Scaryduck Towers this weekend was a very good friend of Mrs Duck, now residing in Cardiff for tax reasons. We gave her the grand tour and the polite conversation bit, even going as far as offering her a staff discount on the house sale, right up to the moment her expensive-looking, wafer thin mobile phone rang:

"A ring ding ding ding ding ding owieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

Oh. God. It's the Frog.

"You realise we might have to kill you now," I offered.

"It's ironic, you know," she said, "I've evilled up my phone to annoy people."

I didn't need to tell her that it is working already.

"It's working already."

My phone, I decided there and then, is not evil enough. It might be none-more-black, but when it rings it's the Specials doing "A Message to You, Rudi", which is about as far away from annoying as you can get, provided you switch it off within twenty seconds. I want my phone to go to the Dark Side.

So, I sat myself down at the computer, found that my corrupt uncle had downloaded a certain copyrighted track, which I then chopped into a mobile phone-sized chunk for evil purposes.

Result: The Star Wars Imperial March. Now that's evil.

Plz to rate on a scale from one to ten the evil quotient of your mobile phone, where one is the tone that came with the device, and ten is the author reading extracts from 'Mein Kampf'.