On complaining

On complaining

Every now and then you come across some useless bunch of workshy brigands who exist only to remove money from your pocket and expect you to go away happy no matter how crap is their service.

Every now and then I snap:

Dear Useless Workshy Cunt of an Internet Service Provider Sir,

I recently switched my broadband provision to your company.

I was assured at the point of sale that this would be a seamless process, and that I would not notice the change between providers.

My previous account was closed on 25th July.

As of the time of writing, I have not received my modem/router and I am unable to access the internet. I have been told by your phone centre that the equipment is not dispatched until after the account has been activated, and that can take "three to five working days".

This is not, by any stretch of the imagination, "seamless".

Your website says that the gap in service should be "approximately 30 minutes to 2 hours on the day of the switchover", which has given us a right old laugh in our household.

Clearly, if this is the kind of premier league muppetry I can come to expect from you people, I'd rather not be a customer, thank you very much.

Yours, Duck (Scary)


I care little for their reply. It's getting it off your chest that counts.


Tomorrow: An all-new condensed film, you lucky, lucky people. LOLOLOLZ