On Beadling

On Beadling

It's coming up to THAT time of year again.

And what better time to pay tribute to the late, great Jeremy Beadle, God rest his poor, pranked-out soul.

This year, April 1st falls on a Tuesday, which gives the committed prankster the advantage of a Monday evening "working" late at the office, getting the place ready for the day's high-jinks and top laughs, whilst muttering "Just wait until you see the looks on their faces!" and putting the thought of disciplinary hearings out of your head.

For 2008, we're planning the following EXCELLENT laugh-a-minute pranks:

- Auto-correct terrorism: Change all MS Word auto-correct settings to "flabby buttocks"

- water-boarding (The torture technique that's NOT torture!)

- setting the boss on fire and burying him under quicklime in a shallow grave next to the car park

- salt in the sugar cellar, rat poison in the coffee machine, vodka in the water cooler, gelatine down the toilet bowls

- send emails FROM THE FUTURE, warning of impending death and something unpleasant in the clam chowder

- something unpleasant in the clam chowder

- replace contents of soap dispensers with Bisto chicken gravy (this one's particularly good your job entails working with wild, meat-eating animals)

- Two words: Rabid Weasels

- Dig up Jeremy Beadle's body, dress him up in a huge fake beard and wheel him in on an office chair for that oh-so-hilarious pay-off

Finally:

- Publish a list of hilarious prank suggestions on a popular weblog which you know your cow-orkers will read. Then do nothing

This is going to be the best Christmas Walford's ever seen April Fool's EVER!