On government data losses

On government data losses

Just an average day at MI6, where performance targets, the replacement of the canteen with a row of vending machines and the outsourcing of the legendary Q Department have hit HARD:

> RING! <

"Hello Q Department helpdesk, how can we help you?"

"Bond here. I appear to be experiencing some problems with my computer. I think I might well have been hacked."

"Listen carefully 007 – are you certain?"

"Of course I'm certain. It's the one with the top secret Pussy Galore files. I need to access them this instant."

"They're the ones with the high resolutions jpegs, aren't they 007? Quite remarkable."

"Yes ...err... never you mind. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Of course, 007. Matters of national security are no laughing matter. If you'd be so kind to tell us your system login?"

"James. That's J A M E S. James."

"Good. And your password?"

"Do you want me to read it out? Walls have ears, you know."

"Go right ahead, 007. This is a secure line."

"Ready?"

"Ready as we'll ever be."

"B"

"B - Bravo"

"O"

"O - Oscar"

"N"

"N - November"

"D"

"D - Delta".

"Got it?"

"You really are the most enormous spacker, 007."

> CLICK <

> RING! <

"Hello Q Department helpdesk, how can we help you?"

"M here. I appear to be experiencing some problems with my computer. I think I might well have been hacked."

"Don't tell me. Login: M. Password: M."

"Good God, Q. Is there no security in this department?"