On things you should ask Derek Acorah if you really, really want to annoy him

On things you should ask Derek Acorah if you really, really want to annoy him

A short list of things you should ask Derek Acorah if you really, really want to annoy him:

- "Why don't you get ghosts in hospitals?"

- "Do you get ghost dogs? What about goldfish? I swear my fish tank's haunted." (Answer, according to D. Acorah himself, is 'Yes'. In fact ghost dogs speak to Derek through spirit guide Sam. They go 'Woof woof woof')

- "Why was it – when you filmed a Most Haunted in the Netherlands – all the ghosts spoke English?"

- "Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead – does he have a message from the other side?"

"How's Kreed Kafer?"

- "Zombies, right? They're technically dead. Do they have ghosts as well as the physical body they're shambling about in, clamouring for brains? What about vampires?"

- "Do ghosts do the sex? Do they? What's ghost porn like? Can you, like, lay your hands on some for me?"

- "When you do live stage shows, do all the grannies smell of wee?"

You: "Could you ask my Aunty Marge what she did with the money in the teapot?"
Acorah: "I'll ask my spirit guide Sam to try to contact her, how long has she been dead?"
You: "She's not. She's got a bungalow in Birkenhead and doesn't talk to us any more."