On taking the blame

On taking the blame

A few days ago, the good people of Twitter playfully laid all the world's ills squarely at the feet of Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg. After all, the tabloids had the knives out for the man, so he might as well cop it for everything else.

And frankly, this is an angry, angry world with far too many people spurting their unfocused rage all over the place. And to save the Clegg all this unnecessary worry whilst there's an election to be fought, I have decided to Man Up and take the rap for this little lot.

Feel free to blame me for anything you can think up in the comments section. If it's on the internet, it must be my fault, after all. No skin off my massive conk.

- Played Diego Maradona onside for his Hand of God goal against England in the 1986 World Cup
- Moved Catholic priests to new parishes

- Keeps Heartbeat on ITV, the entire cast trapped in a 1969 Groundhog Day for the rest of their natural lives
- Poured an entire bottle of Shake'n'Vac down the mouth of that Icelandic volcano

- Fathered John. But not Edward
- Shot the deputy, after framing Bob Marley for sheriff's death

- Sunshine? Moonlight? Good times? Blame it on the Duck
- Sold the idea of the Bracewell Ironsides to Winston Churchill

- Those "We Buy Any Car" adverts? Yeah, I'll buy anything
- If you add some letters and take some away, "Scaryduck blog" is an anagram of "Al Qaeda rules UK"

- Got Peter Andre and Katie Price together. Then split them up. All for TEH LULZ
- I created Comic Sans. And the blink tag. And the marquee tag. And animated gifs

- I was driving a white Fiat Uno in Paris on 31st August 1997

Sorry.