On the death of the Renault Scenic of DOOM

On the death of the Renault Scenic of DOOM

"Here," said The Fragrant Mrs Duck, "I've bought you an air freshener for your car."

Not just one - no less than eight pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air fresheners.

The world smiles upon me.

I hang one of the pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air fresheners from the mirror of the Renault Scenic of DOOM with a certain amount of national pride.

"Bloody hell!" says The Fragrant Mrs Duck, "That smells like a pub toilet."

I drive away, the world still smiling upon me, the Renault Scenic of DOOM smelling of a pub toilet from its brand new pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air freshener.

And just outside Winchester there is a sudden "pinnnnng!" as the head end of the Renault Scenic of DOOM goes, and the Renault Scenic of DOOM meets its actual DOOM.

I stand for an hour on the hard shoulder of the M3 motorway, the pouring rain dripping off my Highways Agency-issue poncho considering my predicament.

So.

SPECIAL OFFER: Get yourself a FREE pine fresh "Come on ENGLAND!" air freshener. Limited stock. Guaranteed not curs-ed at all*.

Poor the Renault Scenic of DOOM. May she rust in peace**.

* Might actually kill your car to DEATH

** Sorry.