An Open Letter to the Mad Christian Fundamentalists who want to burn the Koran

An Open Letter to the Mad Christian Fundamentalists who want to burn the Koran

Dear Mad Christian Fundamentalists who want to burn the Koran,

Congratulations on being the world's top weapons-grade mentals! Here's the legendary Double Facepalm for your trouble.

But let me tell you something: I once saw this zombie movie where they set fire to all the zombies with a bloody huge zombie-slaying bomb. The zombies turned into vapour and smoke, came back to Earth as zombie rain, everybody breathed in the zombies, turned into actual zombies and ate the spicy brains of everything else that wasn't zombies.

THE END.

And now you're planning to set fire to The Word Of God, we're all going to wake up on Sunday morning as Muslims*, and there's nothing the Daily Mail can do to stop it. And that's a 100 per cent true fact as proven by MATHS and SCIENCE and HOLLYWOOD.

Is that what you want? Cos that's what's going to happen.

Why don't you set fire to something by Richard Dawkins instead? Then we'll all turn into atheists and we won't have to put up with your religious bigotry ever again. Religion has fucked up the world enough as it is without like likes of you and your endless twattery making it worse.

Your pal,



Albert O'Balsam


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* Which may be a good thing depending on your point of view