On the endemic cruelty of Hollywood

On the endemic cruelty of Hollywood

End of film.

Credits roll.

Fade to black.

My charming daughter Scaryduckling speaks.

"Hey! They didn't say 'No animals were harmed in the making of this film'."

"There's a good excuse for that," I say. "They punched a dog."

"What? They did WHAT?!"

"Punched a dog. At the end of every scene.

"CUT! The director would shout, and an old man would punch a dog."

"Spielberg's a BASTARD."

There's a pause.

"Cor, bloody hell you'd fall for anything. Of course Steven Spielberg would never pay a man to come in an punch a dog."

"Oh, good."

"He did it for free."