On upsetting local politicians

On upsetting local politicians

It's that time of year again

[ding dong!]

"Good evening sir, I'm your Liberal Democrat candidate in the forthcoming local elections and I..."

"Oh, you poor, poor person."

"Wait...what? I ...err..."

"You poor person. Here's a pound."

He looked at me, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, clutching his shiny Queen's pound.

"But... but... progressive policies?"

"You poor devil."

"Social mobility?"

"You want that quid or not? I pity you."

I'm only going to vote for one party on May 5th.

"Other political parties are available"