The Law, and the Law of the Sea

The Law, and the Law of the Sea

I see - once again - another doomed government policy that allows people to suggest new policies to Parliament if they get enough names on a petition.

Yes, we've been over this ground before, and we're already seeing interest groups flexing their muscles to force the House of Commons to waste its time debating capital punishment, Shariah Law, EU membership and a ban on shiny white toilet paper.

Here's a note to the goverment: STOP IT YOU PLANKS. People have a chance to take politicians to account and set future policy every few years by means on "elections". Petitions will give you nothing but knee-jerk laws, depending on what new frenzy the national press can whip up.

However, if this entire half-arsed scheme becomes law, I suggest that we get in on the ground floor.

Join me then on my quest to change criminal justice to laws based on the Pirate Code

Of course, it's not so much of a code than a set of guidelines.

The advantages of Pirate Law include:

- Right of parley

- Pieces of eight for turning in crims

- Criminals hung from the yard-arm, walking the plank, given a taste of the cat, or fed to sea monsters depending on the mood of the Cap'n

- Severe punishments for Grog-Driving

- Flogging

- More flogging

- Even more flogging, and grog

Avast ye, scurvy knaves - are ye with me? We'll cast this legless bunch of lubbers adrift, and sail the Spanish Main, and this country will be great again. Also, free grog.

I am not mad.