Science asks: What are owls made of?

Science asks: What are owls made of?

Owls. What are they made of?

If you said "feathers, beaks and tasty, tasty owl meat", then you are right, and you may take the rest of the day off.

But then, what are these made of? True, you may say molecules, atoms and DNA and stuff, but what about the very essence that makes an owl an owl?

That's why billions have been spent by celebrity scientists such as Professor Brian Cox and that bloke with the huge head out of Mock the Week on the Large Hedwig Collider, where streams of electron particles are fired at owls to see what they are made of.

And after much research and very long lunch breaks, SCIENCE confirms that owls are made of slightly smaller owls, each layer of owl being smaller than the last.

This goes down to the fundamental particle of owlness, for which these people have made their life's work to discover.

They have called it the HOOTON.

Also, there is an anti-hooton, which is the fundamental particle of small squaeky creatures eaten by owls.

Science: It's fucking brilliant, isn't it?