Like a fool, I'm giving the comedy another go. Here's some stuff I wrote, plus a few gags kindly Cheggered from kind donors who know exactly who they are.
I am, in fact, a woman trapped in a man's body.
No... wait... that's wrong... let me re-phrase that.
I'm a man trapped with a woman's body.
Things didn't go entirely to plan the other morning, and it's in the boot of my car.
I can explain everything. I think.
You see: One minute you're doing naked yoga in the day room of an old people's home, the next you've got a great big stiffy and a guilty conscience.
Said too much.
I'm in enough trouble with the law as it is.
My next door neighbour came knocking.
She asked me if I knew anything about the theft of underwear from her washing line.
Then she came straight out and accused me. ME!
Shocked? Yeah!
I nearly shat in her pants.
She also told me she'd been flashed by a pervert in the park.
I'm not admitting to anything at this stage, but she gave the police a pretty good description.
About five foot five with short, black curly hair.
And short black curly hair.
Might have to try the naked yoga again.
Followers of my mental state will note that I'm getting stabby again...
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