On accidentally killing your drinking buddies TO DEATH

On accidentally killing your drinking buddies TO DEATH

I am in a public house.

I am Billy No-Mates, as the friend I am expecting has not yet arrived.

A text message!

"I'm going to be late. Bear with me."

Naturally, I took the only sane option: I finished my pint, called the police, the RSPCA and the local zoo, before drafting a reply to my imperiled pal

"ON NO ACCOUNT SHOULD YOU LOOK BEAR IN THE EYE"

Also:

"MAKE NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS OR SOUNDS. BEARS HATE THAT"

And:

"IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, PUT YOUR PHONE TO SILENT. SORRY ABOUT LAST TWO TEXTS LOL"

He does not reply. A tragedy.