INSURANCE-ME-DON'T

On thing leads to another and I get a letter from my insurance company:

Dear Mr O'Balsam

Ref: Your recent claim

Suck it.

Your pals,

Bastard Insurance Limited

All that money spent on moose-bite insurance (because moose-bites can be pretty nasty, you know), and the small print says that moose-bite insurance is not valid in Sweden. What a rip-off.

Then, to my dismay, I find my Morris Dancer insurance is immediately invalidated within half-a-mile of any village fete, and my life insurance runs out the minute I hold my breath.

Broken Britain, people, broken Britain.