The Scaryduckworth-Lewis Method of Rating Things for Avian Excellence

You know what? - I've had enough of the Scaryduckworth-Lewis Method of Rating Things for Excellence, the internet's premier method of rating things for excellence. It is sexist, demeaning and fails to address my current obsession for squeezing owls until an egg comes out.

From now on, I'm going to rate things out of five in terms of birds. Birds are the way ahead, unless you are a tit. Then they're the way atit.

 The Scaryduckworth-Lewis Method of Rating Things for Avian Excellence, in full:

1. Gannet
2. Angry Goose
3. Goose
4. Duck
5. Owl 

A proper hierarchy, I think you will agree , with owls in their rightful position as king of all birds, over and above those smug eagle bastards.

What bird - we ask - would even have their own Dalek army? OWLS, that's what.