My doomed love for the freakishly thicked-lipped but oh-so-curvy Sophia from the Dolmio adverts

Another day, and another million punters finding this site because they googled "Dolmio woman", and I have no idea why.

All that I know is that it is still wrong to fancy the freakishly thicked-lipped but oh-so-curvy Sophia from the Dolmio adverts, mostly because she's a) freakishly thicked-lipped and b) she's a puppet.

However, my investigations take me to the Dolmio website, where I grab this image:

What, I ask, is going on with freakishly thicked-lipped but oh-so-curvy Sophia?

For a start, does she know she's carrying a broken arm? Possibly the result of a street brawl with those Ragu bastards.

For second, once you straighten it out, it hangs somewhere around her ankles with a hand the size of a workman's shovel.

Oh, freakishly thicked-lipped, monkey-armed but oh-so-curvy Sophia from the Dolmio adverts. I can never love you.