In which we fear Dogston is a cat

Dogston "Beakface" O'Hanrahan, dog around town of the canine variety. OR SO WE THOUGHT.
 
It has come to our attention that our dog may - if fact - be a cat of the feline variety. The evidence has been slow to manifest itself, but it is clear for all to see, and I am afraid to say that he IS a cat, and just our luck to find out just as the money-back guarantee runs out.

Let's have a look, shall we?

* Falls over in the most unconvincing way possible - every time he gets out of bed. Every time he goes outdoors. There he is, doing the "dead ant" in the most unconvincing way possible. Only the cunning mind of a cat would come up with such a ruse. I really must upload a video of Dogston falling over while doing a poo, because that is the funniest thing in the world, but means I have to video Dogston having a poo.

* Eats fish - his food of preference in rice kibble WITH FISH. Like a cat.

* Sleeps all the time, except to eat - CAT


* Sleeps with one eye open - CAT QED

* Does not chase other cats - CAT

* Was once described by a small yellow bird as "I tawt I taw a puddy tat" - CAT

* Runs away from other dogs - Like a CAT

* Forgets himself when tired and says miaow - the language of CAT, if I am not mistaken

* Doesn't like being scratched - LIKE A CAT

* This picture clearly shows him up a tree - LIKE A CAT

* Wears a zip up dog suit


* Is actually a cat
 
I am not mad. But he is a cat.