In which a not-enraged-at-all author writes about getting a single bad book review

I've just had my first terrible review for my comedy novel WTF on Amazon, and I'm overjoyed.


My book is - according to my new pal 16mm-uk - "Smug, irritating, poorly written E-Junk"

And I quote...

"Judging by this ghastly effort the author knows a lot about how much he loves himself... Within a few short paragraphs the author sets out his stall; in fact scrub that - there is no stall, just a self-adoring hack who probably owns a wardrobe full of wacky-slogan t-shirts and some comedy headwear.

"This book is not funny, not even faintly amusing unless you wrote it."

I believe I have a right to reply, so here goes:

Hi there 16mm-UK!

I hope you're well! I value every sale, every review and the money they bring, but let's get a few things straight.

1. I own no comedy headwear and one (ONE) 'Bazinga!' T-shirt which I barely wear because of its antique status

2. Just ask and I'll give you your two quid back. TWO POUNDS. I'll even write you a cheque so you can have my autograph

3. I hope the experience hasn't put you off books

Your new smug best pal,

Alistair

That's all the bases covered in the most contructive manner possible, I believe.

If you're a fan of smug, poorly written e-junk for the outrageous sum of two quid a pop, you can GET IT HERE