#NewTrafficLaws Ban on Comic Sans on the back of vans
#NewTrafficLaws Toll gates outside schools between 0800-0900 and 1500-1600
#NewTrafficLaws People above retirement age driving Kia hatchbacks banned from the morning rush hour
#NewTrafficLaws Severe ticking off for people who turn right on busy roads
#NewTrafficLaws Gibbets to be erected at mini-roundabouts to prevent three-way-right-turn stand-offs
#NewTrafficLaws Gibbets at mini-roundabouts to be used on people who design mini-roundabouts
#NewTrafficLaws Unlimited fines for people who leave really huge gaps in front of them in traffic jams
#NewTrafficLaws People in BMWs
#NewTrafficLaws People who stop and block the way when an ambulance is coming ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD
#NewTrafficLaws Lorries overtaking each other on dual carriageways must be fitted with rocket assist
#NewTrafficLaws Snatch squads to discipline drivers who leave their indicators on
#NewTrafficLaws Immediate ban on people who use hashtags in blog posts
That'll do it.
"#NewTrafficLaws People in BMWs"
ReplyDeleteThe 80s called, they want their stereotype back.*
Everybody knows that Audis are today's lane-bully, indicator-averse, sales-wanker chariot of choice.
This of course is a bit ironic considering: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIQ-283wKgg
*and yes, 2006 called to say they wanted their lazy cliche back from me. I'll get me coat.
And what about a public flogging for anyone who drives a 4WD penis-substitute, to enable them to cope with the rigours of a 1-in-50 gradient on their driveway?
ReplyDeleteI just looked up mini roundabout. I never knew, I thought they were a type of speed bump.
ReplyDeletedrivers who insist on using fog lights all the time should only be allowed out in the fog.
ReplyDeleteAs a BMW driver I don't see why I should have to use my indicators. Poeple is lesser cars should automatically give way and clear the lane I wish to be in.
ReplyDeleteIt's the wankers in Nissan Micras you should be complaining about, they're all fat lardy birds or Green Party activists who should be on a bike.
¼Unoccupied cars displaying a 'Baby/Child On Board' sticker should get a £100 fixed penalty notice.
ReplyDeleteBeen Done already:
ReplyDeletePublished on 16/10/2008 16:49
LORRIES are to be permanently banned from overtaking on parts of the A14 to cut congestion, the Department for Transport has announced.
Harborough Mail
GIDEON MACK - "It's the wankers in Nissan Micras you should be complaining about, they're all fat lardy birds or Green Party activists who should be on a bike."
ReplyDeleteTried cycling down the middle lane of the M1, but you BMW drivers just gave me abuse!
Steve - be honest - the M1 is really for BMW drivers and you had no right to be there on a pedal bike unless of course you invest in a BMW pedal bike.
ReplyDeleteMy previous comment re Micra owners was possibly a bit harsh - not all Nissan drivers are wankers - some are NHS employees.
Nissan Micra drivers also include the following:
ReplyDeletePeople who write this blog