Look into the eyes of a pitiless killer.
Being a dog of the terrier variety, of course Wilson Blue
Rabbit was always going to dig up a tiny little frog in the garden and eat it.
That’s what terriers do, because their name come from the French “terre”, and
they have the most fun digging holes in the ground and eating small defenceless
animals TO DEATH.
My only real objections came from the fact that he was
drooling like Kang and Kodos from The Simpsons as he carried out his despicable
act; not to mention the sickening pop-stroke-crunch as he finished off his slobber-drenched
prey.
Ribbit.
Rooowf.
Pop.
Crunch.
That sound will go with me to my grave, particularly if my
grave is inside a particularly large and hungry dog.
We don’t like Wilson any more. He’s a frog-murdering git.
The funniest thing I have seen all day on the internet
ReplyDeleteCan you train him to eat some of the bloody cats that are all over the internet?
ReplyDeleteOf course being of a certain age Monty Python came to mind - which I'm sure you intended! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy6uLfermPU&list=RDDy6uLfermPU
ReplyDeleteGive the little bugger a cockroach cluster ....
You are lucky. My hell-beast cat doesn't eat them, she plays with them. A frog's screams penetrate my nightmares.
ReplyDeleteI have a Maltese terrier, not really a terrier more a lap dog. Anyway, Loki has a habit of killing and devouring mice. Not pretty and tends to stain his well groomed, and generally immaculate, white fur. And don't get me going about what it does for his parasite load. I've tried to distract him with small kibble but it seems he prefers the chase and kill. The image of a tail sticking out of his perfectly formed but pitiless maw will haunt me until my last days.
ReplyDeleteDogs will be dogs. You do our best friends a great disservice when you anthropomorphise the instinctive behaviours of Canidae.
ReplyDeletePerhaps if you fed the beast a little more often, Wilson Blue Rabbit would not have to dine off the menu to this extent?
Cor! Bust a frog! (as my grandad used to say)
ReplyDeleteOnce I caught my dog attacking a frog, by the time I got into the garden it was lying lifeless at her paws. I got a shovel and a broom to dispose of it and it scared the shit out of me when I went to sweep it onto the shovel and it leapt over it. I didn't know frogs could play dead.
ReplyDelete