Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Help me choose a new Silver Hornet

I've had the current Silver Hornet (otherwise known as the Fail Whale) for five years, and now it's time to get a new set of wheels.

It was only meant to be a stop-gap purchase after the previous Silver Hornet (a Renault Scenic that was one of the two Silver Hornets to be actually silver) decided to kill itself at the Winchester Services on the M3. The Micra, despite its appalling styling, has been reliable; frighteningly fast up to 50mph, then like a turd on wheels; and I've put over 60,000 miles on the clock. But it lacks basic comforts, like power steering, an electrical socket, and air conditioning. Time to come into the 21st Century.

Our budget doesn't stretch as far as a new car, so we're looking at something decent and second hand. Four/five doors and not a fucking Vauxhall for a Ford Focus.

To give you some idea of what happens when I'm left to choose my own cars, here is my car history which would have got me laughed off Top Gear:

The Coleman List of Silver Hornets (Mostly RIP)

  • Renault 4
  • Austin Allegro Equipe
  • Fiat Strada
  • Peugeot 205
  • Renault 21
  • Ford Escort
  • Renault Scenic
  • Nissan Micra

Yes, our family likes Renaults, and I can't stop myself buying shit cars because they're cheap.

However, I'm also more than aware that I have no clue what kind of car I actually want. Help me out here.

15 comments:

  1. Paul Parkinson12:01 pm

    Mazda 6
    Ford Mondeo
    VW Golf
    VW Passat
    Toyota Avensis

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous12:15 pm

    Just got for a Laguna. Lovely cars.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous12:20 pm

    If you're prepared to ignore the jokes about the badge - Skoda Octavia

    ReplyDelete
  4. Grinka12:43 pm

    Skoda Roomster. Pitral vershun. The deezal enjin is noysi.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous1:54 pm

    Golf.
    The miles you do, make it a diesel.

    Best choice, a mk5 (2004-08) in SE trim or above for all the toys - even cruise control.
    If you think a Micra is quick to 50, then the 1.9 TDi will be plenty & be nice & cheap on insurance & fuel.

    4 grand will get you something tidy with a warranty.
    I've messaged you a link on Facebook.

    Out of interest, why the hate for the Focus?

    ReplyDelete
  6. We have a 21 year old Honda Civic with 56,000 on the clock. Never let me down - except when the clutch went, but you expect that. Always starts first time even after 5 weeks at Heathrow...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Octavia might be a bit big; I had a Fabia estate for five years and it was an Excellent Purchase.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ancient & Tattered Airman4:46 pm

    I can't afford to buy new but I suggest a used diesel Mercedes A type, especially the Blue Efficiency version which is incredibly frugal with the fuel. My last 2 motors have been these and I can fully recommend them.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Zimmer9:50 am

    Fabia Estate... 1.4 TDi £30 VED and yearly average 62mpg (seriously) .
    If you want comfort and lots of carrying space (cheaper than a Mondeo)... a Rapid...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Agree with Grinka; the old 1.9 diseasel wot I had in my Fabia and still do have in my Roomster is a rough old dog. The newer ones are better but may still be a little spendy.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Anonymous9:46 pm

    Arse to sanity, here's what's needed, something with a bird's name and I don't mean Janet.
    Classic Riley Kestrel. Or if you'd rather pollute your way to hell in your classic then a Plymouth Road Runner would do. Pollute the Australian way in a Ford Falcon. Wish to die in a piece of French tat? Get a 2CV. Known in Germany as the Ente or duck this is a nice tie-in and as scary as buggery on a cold November evening on the M3. Was also the basis of Clouseau's Silver Hornet.
    Job done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous11:43 am

      Or, if the above are too expensive, then a Reliant Robin.

      Should you desire to remove yourself from poverty then get a Transit. Reverse same into a cashpoint, drag into van and open at your leisure. 90% of all bank robberies in the UK involve the use of a Transit so it's tried and tested. Get a white 1, they are faster.
      With the proceeds get a large, elderly Jag and some shooters. Do the bank properly and buy a Sierra Cosworth. Use this to follow an armoured van closely for about 15 minutes to get the occupants nervous, overtake, brake violently and get the heist done sharpish then offski.
      Next get some Minis, a coach a couple of E-Types and a convertable Aston. Up over the Alps and blag the gold in Turin.
      You are now in a position to purchase some Mini Mokes and a monorail. Install inhollowed-out volcano, take over planet. Note:- throw any suspiciously well dressed Aston Martin drivers into the shark tank immediatly. Do not explain plans first
      Crush planet mercilessly under your iron fist, use proceeds to build Death Star and conquer galaxy of your choice.

      Job done.

      Delete
  12. Dr Si1:59 pm

    I'm with the others regarding Skoda: Octavia and Fabia are pretty bulletproof*, and reasonably priced. Otherwise for my money I'd go with a VW Golf or if you want something bigger a Toyota Avensis or Subaru Legacy

    *Not against actual bullets

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous3:34 pm

    12000 a year probably isn't enough for a diesel unless all done on motorways.

    Not knowing how you use it makes it hard to give advice but maybe a late model Fiat Panda Mylife with the 1.2 petrol.

    Cheap simple reliable, fairly well equipped with little to go wrong, peanuts to buy.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hyundai i20 or i30, diesel or petrol. On my 3rd of that make over 14 years. Never let me down and you could have the remainder of the 5 year warranty.
    Penseivat

    ReplyDelete