Book Review: The Garderobe of Death by Howard of Warwick

Now, it was several months ago that Mr Howard of Warwick asked me if I would like to review his latest page-turner, a witty little tale about a chap getting killed to death while sitting on the lav. Naturally, I replied in the affirmative, but being a notoriously slow reader it has taken me this long to get round to The Garderobe of Death.

One of a number of titles by Mr of Warwick set around the Norman Conquest, he has gained a bit of a cult following with his Brother Hermitage murder mysteries told in a - errr - not quite 11th Century style. You probably know from my Pepys writings that I like a bit of faux historical drama, so this one was approached with relish. With a bit of ketchup, as well as horseradish, which goes with everything.

The Garderobe of Death centres around the sudden demise of Henri de Turold with an arrow up his rear-end while taking his ease late one night, and the rush to uncover the culprit before King William turns up later that day, finds out one of his best friends is on the crapper with an arrow up his arse, and gets cross. It is - of course - down to Brother Hermitage and his rather more intelligent sidekick to find out the truth, for better or worse.

Yes, it's a more-than-competent murder mystery, but it is also very, very funny and worth £2.39 of your hard-earned cash money if you download it for your Kindle device. In fact, I think it's deserving of a few call-out quotes for future editions:

"So funny, I forgot I had the plague until my arm swell'd up like a pig's bladder and burst forth blood and flesh and green foule-smelling pus all over a pass'ng mendicant."  -- Alexander of Fleet

"My children read this book, and now I cannot use the garderobe for fear that I too may expire from an arrow up my rear. How we laugh'd!" --- Sir William of Alder-Shot (Dec'd)

"Thou needest not be a learn'd monk vers'd in the powers of deduction and bless'd with the ability to read to enjoy Howard of Warwick. But it helps." --- Friar Kelp de Kelp

"I LIKE RATS" --- Stupid Dave

In summary: Eight arrows up the bum out of ten.

Buy Howard of Warwick books: "Now in paper and everything"