ELECTION ANALYSIS: Keeping the 'One man, one owl' promise

Dear Conservative voter

I expect you're feeling pretty damn smug this Monday morning, and frankly I don't blame you. Five more years of your chosen government, and I'm not going to moan because that's how participative democracy works.

However, I voted Labour because Ed Miliband promised me an owl. And Ed delivered. He may have been on the wrong end of a ballot box drubbing, but he still came good on One Man, One Owl. (Mainly because he had a warehouse will 11 million owls, I should imagine)

Yeah, you've got control of the political agenda until at least 2020, and good luck with that. But I've got my owl, so WHO'S THE LOSER HERE?

You are, that's who.

And you will note from the background of the photo is that it's Rabbit Awareness Week. Those bunnies are all Lib Dems, and they're going to shit you up.

Your pal, etc

Political neutrality disclaimer: Other parties are available.