QUEEN FACTS

"Ex-cellent!"

On the day Her Majesty becomes Britain's longest reigning monarch, we take a look back at her glorious reign and present a number of facts about Queen Elizabeth II.

Did you know...?

• Elizabeth wasn't always destined to be Queen, but in 1946, her owner gave her a sock and she was freed from being a house elf
• The Queen employs a flunky whose only job is to insert USB sticks the right way up. A different flunky is employed to ensure that all USB drives are removed safely.
• The Queen's favourite bit from Only Fools and Horses is the "Trigger's Broom" sequence. "He reminds one of Edward," she says.
• Her Majesty once scored 14 points in the first round of the BBC series Mastermind, her specialist subject being "Ultravox, the John Foxx years". Unfortunately, she let herself down in the general knowledge round.
• Elizabeth loves Windsor Castle, and likes to think of it as her family home. "But why did they build it so close to the airport?" she asks.
• The Queen's favourite food is Chinese, but she hates kebabs.
• As is often the case, the winner of the 1951 X Factor has slipped into obscurity. However, the runner-up has been Queen for 63 years.

All her own stunts

• The Queen does all her own stunt work, but gave up acting after the Academy overlooked her performance in The Naked Gun.Her comeback at the 2012 London Olympics was strictly a one-off for shits and giggles.
• The Queen has spent £3bn of her personal fortune trying to prevent her daughter Anne from turning into a horse, mostly without success.
• Once a year, the Queen takes a driving holiday down America's Route 66, it being the only place in the world where she's not recognised and asked for autographs and selfies.
• Those of you who think the Queen has a privileged life, remember she has to go to the Royal Variety Performance EVERY YEAR
• As defender of the faith, the Queen once kicked Margaret Thatcher in the balls for swearing in front of the Archbishop of York
• Her Majesty supplements her meagre income by forcing her 66-year-old son Charles out to work selling eggs and other farm produce.
• Urban myth says the Queen thinks the world smells of fresh paint. Actually, it's fear. Fear and meat. 

There's an absolute crap-ton more HERE, some (most) of them quite funny.