Monday, June 23, 2008

On things not to say when accidentally finding yourself at the Nuremberg Rally

On things not to say when accidentally finding yourself at the Nuremberg Rally

You know how these things go.

One minute you're a mild-mannered telephone sanitiser, and before you know it you're transported back to the Nuremburg Rally* in nineteen thirty-something, surrounded by earnest-looking, square-headed, humourless thugs becoming uncharacteristically excited over a speech from Der Fuhrer on Large-Chested Aryan Totty I'd Like To Bone.

You're foreign. You've been to a Bar Mitzvah. You're in the middle of a laundry crisis and you've only got a particularly flowery shirt. For the love of crikey, just don't say anything that'll get you killed.

For example:

- "Who's that twat with the tache?"

- "I say, could one of you chaps direct me to the Turkish bath?"

- "Whatchoo staring at, slag?"

- "Allahu akhbar!"

- "I do believe in fairies, I do. I do."

- "That Eva Braun – I've done her up the wrong'un, you know"

- "Morning Star! Get your Morning Star here!"

- "The other's in the Albert Hall"

- "SPOILER! Winston Churchill WINS!"

Plz to add more in comments. You might save a life.

* Won by Dave Hitler in a Volkswagen

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