Thursday, June 23, 2011

Notes from the Forever Alone Aisle in the Supermarket

Notes from the Forever Alone Aisle in the Supermarket

He runs.

Head down, he runs up and down the aisles of the supermarket.

Own-brand Rola-Cola courisng through his veins, Manchester United shirt on his back, seven years of age and he has never felt so alive.

He's a racing car.

A rocket ship.

No, he's a jet fighter.

NEEEEEOOOOWWWWWWW!

"Cornelius, watch where you're..."

Head first, right into my nuts.

My first, entirely natural reaction: "Oo-yagh!"

And my second, as I find myself bent double over the frozen pizzas, questioning the very meaning of life: "What kind of name is Cornelius?"

Sight returning to my eyes, I see the words that make everything better.

"Deep Pan Frozen Pizza. Buy One, Get One Free"

WINNING

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