Monday, September 17, 2012

A post featuring Judge Dredd porn which will only mean anything to fans of a) Judge Dredd and b) porn

With the new Judge Dredd movie in the cinemas, 2000AD comic came up with a challenge: Come up with a new, seventh bullet for the Judge's iconic gun.

How could I - with a very battered copy of Issue One of The Galaxy's Greatest Comic in a box under my bed - let them down?

The Fifty Shades of Gaze into the Fist of Dredd round: Q Division proudly announces the Lawgiver round that inflicts no physical injury, but immediately sets the perp into writing Judge Dredd extreme porn novels whilst serving their sentence in the Iso-Cubes.

(Dredd's domestic housekeeper Maria slipped out of her panties and stood in her naked mature glory in front of the Judge. "Do me Joe," she said, summoning up the courage from somewhere to address the lawman directly, "Show me what you do to the perps, you naughty, naughty man."

His helmet glistening in the half-light of his sparse apartment on the 105th floor of Rowdy Yates block, Joe Dredd managed nothing but a single word in reply: "Stomm!"

This was one thing they hadn't taught him about in the Great Hall of Justice. He would do as Maria requested, but he would think of Judge Anderson.)

Feeding directly onto the Amazon Kindle store, this raises much-needed cash for the Justice Department in times of financial difficulty.
Drokk, I have no shame.


Dredd 3D: Bit of a review

Yes, it's excellent. Yes, the 3D is beautifully shot. Yes, it is extraordinarily violent. Yes, there are enough old-skool 2000AD references going on in the background to keep the fans smirking in their seats. Yes, Jo'Burg looks entirely believable as Mega City One. Yes, Ma-Ma was a brilliantly horrible villain, and this is the first action film for some time not to treat female characters as sex objects.

No, proper Judge Dredd would NEVER have passed Anderson on her judging exam.

Yes, it stands head-and-shoulders above the Stallone version. Yes, go and see it so they can raise enough money for a Dark Judges sequel.

In summary: Yes, mostly.

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