In the spirit of offering fatherly advice, I did a paper round for first time in 30 years the other day. The boy had just landed himself the job, and being a veteran of the day-glo yellow bag myself, I thought I'd tag along on the first Sunday to make sure he knew the ins-and-outs of the ancient art of newspaper delivery.
Yes, he knew the ins-and-outs of the ancient art of newspaper delivery. I, on the other had, walked into a tree, got run over by the boy's newspaper trolley, and got chased by mad cat woman's cats.
I knew I should have stayed in my pit that morning.
My 80s paper round was marred by the sight of Peter McCafferty's enormous mum (Daily Star) getting dressed in living room window. Kids these days don't know how lucky they are if these are the only lessons they take home from their morning's work:
Paper round lesson no.1: My entire estate reads the Mail on Sunday. Nation = Doomed
Paper round lesson no.2: Don't get run over by a trolley filled with Mail on Sundays. Hurty
Paper round lesson no.3: A Mail on Sunday may be your only defence against a Mad Cat Woman's cat. However, a spoiled newspaper may lead to customer complaints
And back to bed.
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