SAVILE ROULETTE

Now that Jimmy Savile has become the Devil incarnate following the revelation that he was the most enormous sex fiend (perhaps the worst kept secret of the last 100 years), the world has to think of what to do with the hundreds of hours of archive video featuring the old perve.

This is a particular problem for the people airing old episodes of Top of the Pops, as the man who put 'Vile' into 'Savile' appeared in nearly all of them over a period of many years, and the axe has already fallen on editions featuring Gary Glitter. Frankly, we don't want to see any more of the creepy dead bloke, not after the damage he's caused.

It is a thought that will keep video editors in work for some time to come.

But thanks to the internet - and YouTube in the main - he's still out there, and we've now invented a game. We call it SAVILE ROULETTE.

The rules of Savile Roulette are simple:

1. Watch random music videos on YouTube.
2. If you get a TOTP clip with Jimmy Savile, you lose and have to hit yourself in the trouser department with a rubber mallet.
3. If you get a TOTP clip where he is pushing himself up against a clearly freaked out female audience member, you have to beat your computer to death and burn the wreckage.
4. If you get a TOTP where a UK viewer has had to explain to confused Americans what they mean by the words "Aaaaargh Paedo", give yourself a small prize.

Here's one to start you off, possibly the most miserable song of all time.

It is, says Jane, like being rickrolled, only you end up with a dead kiddie-fiddler

(And if there's one thing this dreadful experience has taught us, it's how to spell "Savile")