A message to my 14 year old self

So, if you had the chance, what message would you put into a time capsule and send back to the younger version of you?

I'm pretty sure that most people would send smething inspiring: "Think positive. Be yourself. It'll turn out OK"

Or: "Yes, that dark haired girl in your class. Future wife"

Or: "Study hard. You'll make it"

Me, it'll be none of these. The message that goes back to 1980 is this:

"Remember that joke?"

"What joke you bearded idiot?"

"The one that goes 'What's the worst thing in the world? Recycled toilet paper'"

"Yeah, that's a cracker."

"Out of a cracker, more like. Stop laughing. I'm from the future. Civilisation is doomed and recycled Toilet Paper is where it's at."

"And..."

"Stock up, son. Stock up."

This time 35 years ago, Rodders....