 Mee-OW! | Call me manky if you wish, and I understand that there is a thriving adult party scene for people of a like mind, but is it wrong to have the hots for the cat in the Thompson Local TV ads?
Is it the skin-tight oh-so-curvy *ahem* cat-suit, the take-me-any-which-way gymnastics, or the ever so slightly kinky leather collar? Or is it the come-and-get-me-you-filthy-tomcat smile? After long and considered opinion - yes, it is very, very wrong. Blue is certainly not my colour. Cold shower. Bad dog. |
And while we're back in the gutter, a big up to the guest speaking on community garden projects on last Friday's Gardeners' World (excuse: 900 channels and nothing on). I give you Mr Dick Staines. How we laughed.
Junk Filter OFF
I got one of those consumer surveys in my junk mail recently - one of those with a free pen cunningly designed to deluge me with endless spam of the paper variety, with the added bribe of a twenty-grand prize draw I'm patently not going to win.
It was returned with the usual pack of lies - I am, according to my own hand, a fifty-a-day smoke with an interest in vivsection and the works of Wagner. Halfway down the second page the bastards threw in a trick question, straight out of the McCarthy Hearings :
"Are you a supporter of Manchester United Football Club?" Answer Yes/__
Where's the "NO" option? I do not support Manchester United, I hate them with all my mind, body and soul, and even hated them when everybody else was hating Liverpool. There was no space to answer no.
So, I helped them out a bit - I drew in my own "No" box. Actually, it said "You must be fucking joking, you bunch of fetid goat botherers", and added a great big X next to it.
That'll learn 'em.
Mrs Duck's response to this act of petty rebellion: "You're not going to send it off like that, are you?"
"Damn right I am, there's a twenty grand prize draw, you know. This time next year, Rodders..."
Oh Lordy! It's the return of the Colonel!
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