This week, I have been spending far, far too much of my time in the exceedingly sad pursuit of working out anagrams for my name. This here website is a reasonably good start, but there's nothing like a twisted imagination and a pen-and-paper to find the real meaning behind your existence, for which you can only blame your parents.
I went years knowing that the now deceased Irish comedian Dave Allen was an anagram of "Anal Delve", and have recently discovered that our beloved prime minister goes under the alias "I'm Tory Plan B", but I have gone my entire life neither knowing nor caring of the various permutations afforded by my own name.
So, here we go - loads of screwed up bits of paper and hours of extravagant swearing later, we come up with this little lot.
As you'd expect, and with my pedantry detector turned up to eleven, one hundred per cent accuracy cannot be guaranteed:
The bizarre
* I RACIAL AT MELONS
* ME ANAL A CLITORIS
* AT A MILLION CARS
* RAT OILS IN A CAMEL
* I AM SAT IN A CELLAR
* LICE: A MORTAL SIN
The far too descriptive
* OAR IN A CAMEL SLIT
And the enigmatic
* IS IT ALL A ROMANCE?
And, of my online name
* SUCKY CARD
And the so-near-but-yet-so-far
* YACKS CRUD
Funnily enough, if you put the name "BEN ELTON" into the Anagram Server, it comes back with just one reply: "COMPLETE AND UTTER SHOVEL FACED CUNT", which is fair enough if you ask me.
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