Tuesday, June 22, 2010

HOMEOPATHIC GOLDFISH

HOMEOPATHIC GOLDFISH

Homeopathy.

Some people think it's shit.

But what do these so-called "scientists" know with their high-fallutin' college degrees and peer-reviewed, evidence-based studies? Bugger all, that's what.

It stands to reason that if you take a poison, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, dilute it then shake it, and then put the memory of it in a pill, it's going to be the best medicine EVER.

And studies of homeopathy by some of the world's richest homeopaths have shown that this is EXACTLY what happens, and it is a cover-up by Big Pharma on the scale of the Kennedy assassination, the moon landings and - bless her - Princess Diana that keeps these essential and proven remedies in the realm of quack medicine.

That is why we at the Scaryduck Labs have decided to jump on the homeopathy bandwagon ...err... join this important and growing industry with our own development.

Homeopathic Pets

What happens is this: You take some goldfish. Then you dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, dilute them and shake them, then put the memory of the fish in a bucket, and it's going to be the best pet EVER.

What's even better for busy people living their modern lives is that because the bucket contains only the memory of fish, they require very little actual maintenance. In fact, just feed them a pinch of Scaryduck Labs Homeopathic Best Fish Food EVER (diluted and shaken etc) once a day, and replace the water with Scaryduck Labs Best Memory of Fish EVER Water once a month, and that's it.

We're also working on Homeopathic Kittens, but The Man's come along, put a stop to our diluting-and-shaking and slapped us with an Asbo. SCIENCE CANNOT STOP THE MARCH OF ...err... SCIENCE!

Homeopathy: There's nothing in it

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