Coleman’s Shopping Paradox
This is the result of years of impatient research. So listen well. It could save a life.
1.1 “A woman, whilst shopping, will always buy the first item she picks up on any given shopping trip. The purchase will not be made, however, until she has eliminated every single alternative in every single shop in the vicinity. This process may take several hours, or in this new age of 24-hour shopping, up to a week.
1.2 “Any male companion that shows boredom or a lack of attentiveness at a crucial ‘What do you think?’ moment, might as go and live in a monastery, for he is not going to get it in the foreseeable future.”
2.1 “A man, whilst shopping, will always buy the first item he picks up on any given shopping trip. This process may take, in this new age of 24-hour shopping, up to fifty nano-seconds.
2.2 “Any female companion has a duty to sigh repeatedly, show enormous impatience and say ‘Just get the brown. Any size. Can we go now?’” before telling everybody in her circle of friends that she loves him so much she even goes clothes shopping for him.”
You may now nod your head, stroke your chin, and say to yourself “So true, so true”. Unless you are a no-tail, then it your womanly duty to shriek out loud and hunt me down like a dog.
It's is my dad's 70th birthday today. Happy birthday, Dad.