Tuesday, May 21, 2002

I Love Spam : episode 4,236: You may already know that I've got a bit of a thing for spam e-mails. As far as I'm concerned, the more outrageous, the better. These are the finest minds of our generation, at the cutting edge of the new media advertising industry, where the subject line is king as spelling doesn't matter.

If I can snort with laughter at "XXX FLABBY BITCH ACTOIN" or "HOMOSEXUAL LESBIANS GETING DIRTY" (I was unaware there was more than one kind of lesbian), then my day is complete. On a daily basis, I'm encouraged to CLICK HERE for a buck naked Britney or J Lo, herbal alternatives to viagra, breast enlarging creams and daily exercises to turn my todger into a whopper. They all remain resolutely unclicked.

So, this morning I was completely knocked sideways by the best spam mail I have ever received. And I quote: "Do you have a septic tank?" Oh my God, what kind of filthy perverts are these? Nope, it turns out that these people are using the medium of mass mailing to come and pump out my cesspit. If I had one. Superb. I'll be getting mail from online fish-filleters and people offering to wipe my arse for a small fee next. I love the web.

Token pointless online quiz of the day:

Which Firearm are you?
brought to you byStan Ryker


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