As you may or may not not (or even care), I live in Weymouth, UK, dolphin sex capital of the world. We've gained this dubious title by way of Georges/Randy/Flipper, the dolphin with three names who, allegedly, has been luring unsuspecting swimmers out to sea for filthy dolphin sex romps. Rather like a prono version of Jaws. Yeah, really. Georges has been away for a couple of months, on a tour of Plymouth Hoe (not a West Country prostitute, I was disappointed to find out) and Land's End. But now he's back in Portland Harbour where he belongs, and HE'S GAGGING FOR IT!
Watch it! He's a rubber fiend!
Total number of people shagged to death by Georges: NIL
Total number of people believing this rubbish: NIL
Remember, if you must go swimming round Portland, please go protected. They don't do rubbers for dolphins, so bring your own wetsuit.