A big "Woo!" and a "Yay!" for this weekend as the English Premiership football season kicks off at last. And this season I will be predicting ARSENAL for the title, the cup, the European cup, the national lottery and first dibs on Charlotte Church. On the other hand, I confidently predict a glorious season for Totteham Hotspur too - relegation, cup humiliation, a low cost European holiday and sloppy seconds with Ann Widdecombe.
Absolutely no bias at all there. For all your Arsenal news and swearing, I thoroughly recommend the spiffy Arseblog, because in their own words, "It's f*ckin' excellent'". Which it is.
And coming soon to a blog near you: "My life as a football hooligan": the story of one man's cowardice in the face of a rampaging army of twelve-year-old mini-thugs. Running away - it's the new rock'n'roll.
"Dolphin Sex Update"
Filthy Georges, the one-eyed sex pervert crimefighting superhero dolphin and is back in Weymouth, and as I type is flipping about in Sandsfoot Cove just yards from my house. As far as I can make out, he's not trying to have sex with anybody. But I swear he's been eyeing up the cat. You can never tell with his type. Give 'em an inch and they'll take