Tuesday, September 13, 2005

On Linguistics

On Linguistics

The English language is a wonderful thing. If it wasn’t for English, we’d all be speaking French, which doesn’t have a word for “weekend”, as the only word they have is “le weekend”, which comes from a language which wouldn’t otherwise exist. Then we’d have to work seven days in a row, or something. Thank God for English, otherwise we’d all be toiling like slaves under some dreadful Gallic yoke. Bollocks to that, then.

We are blessed with a number of most excellent words, which, if left to some dreadful language-by-committee like our soap-dodging friends over the Channel, or even in the hands of Americans, simply would not exist.

"Turds" - I'll never forget the day my grandad taught me that word. It was like my first Werther's Original, only with swearing.

Turds image courtesy Cogitom

“Mind you don’t step in those turds!” he said, and within minutes, the word had passed into general use, much to the disgust of my grandmother. It has been my greatest pleasure passing on the secret of turds to my children, who have increased their vocabulary considerably since I left a copy of Roger’s Profanisaurus lying around by accident.

“Flensing” – the process of removing blubber from beached whales. A word which popped, apropos of nothing, into my head whilst people-watching on Weymouth sea-front the other day.

"Flunge" – the exposed roll of flesh between low-cut trousers and far-too-short t-shirt. OK, it’s a made-up word straight from the Urban Dictionary, but it just sounds so right.

And “git” – the swear-word that’s OK for kids. Git is wonderful. In French the equivalent word is “le poupeneuf”, which is shit; whilst the American Language Cleansing Committee has come up with “potty-trousers”, which should be dragged outside and shot.

Et vous, mes petits poupeneuves? I'm stuck for words which aren't sweary. Help me out here.

Staring at the sun

I've been taking pictures again, a rather lovely evening spent standing at the top of a cliff. Look! A Flickr album --- Hey! I can see my house from here!

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