So, I spent genuine cash money and joined a gymnasium.
Under usual circumstances, when there's a call for a bit of minor maintenance, such as a plughole becoming blocked with the accumulated gunge of years, you go to the front desk and tell whoever is on duty there's some work that needs doing.
Eventually someone comes along with a plunger and a big stick, and, with a combination of the two, they fix the thing. Which is the kind of top-hole service you come to expect round here.
So, what to do if you fall out of the gym at some unspeakably early hour and - finding yourself just about the only person in the establishment - the following chain of woe inflicts itself on your otherwise blameless life?
a) The gents' showers being "closed for cleaning" - despite there being nary a cleaner to be seen - so you are forced, with no little guilt, to use the unoccupied ladies' facility
b) You note, to some dismay, that the drain is blocked with years of girly hair, and your shower will become a bath within a matter of minutes
c) You absent-mindedly let go with your usual, manly early morning piss-in-the-shower (because, let's face it, we all do it, don't we? Don't we?), not realising that yellow water is already lapping round your ankles
d) a shower tray brimming with piss that refuses to go away.
The correct answer is, of course, this: run for it.
Dave the Maintenance Guy, if you're reading this: I am so, so sorry.