Friday, October 25, 2013

In which 80s pop singers send the world spinning off its axis


The news that Susanna Hoffs out of 80s popular beat combo The Bangles has come clean over her choice of Funday has rocked me to my very core.


For twenty-seven years the world has lived under the illusion that Sundays were Ms Hoffs' Funday, but that once certain truth has been exposed to the sun, fed to monkeys, the monkeys forced to fight to the death against rabid badgers, and the whole bloody mess served up as a stew to the homeless. In a word: SICKENING.

So, we ask: Which 80s legend is going to be the next to break ranks and own up to the lie they have been living?


Midge Ure out of Ultravox: "As a matter of fact, I have very strong feelings about the capital of Austria."

Elvis Costello: "Yeah, it's a fair cop. I have been to Chelsea on a number of occasion of my own free will"

Freddie Mercury out of Queen: "There are other stations available apart from Radio Ga Ga, Radio Goo Goo and Radio Blah Blah"

Band Aid: "Creeping Western cultural values mean that they are fully aware that it is Christmas, it turns out"


You just can't trust these 80s stars any more

10 comments:

Mad Dog said...

Duran Duran: "Actually the pictures of the girls were taken with a digital camera and then Photoshopped"

Spandau Ballet "Gold? Well not really -it's really just bronze with a bit electroplating"

Sade: "The title was meant to be Sleuth Operator but the proof reader was drunk"

Bloody hell, why am I doing this at 5.00 in the morning..?! Oh and at risk of showing my age, Elvis Costello was technically from the 70s

Gert said...

Adam Ant is afraid people will take the puss.

Gert said...

Agggh.

Adam Ant is afraid people will mock him.

(And his pet cat isn't Queen)

TRT said...

Surely Mad Dog, that's Bucks Fizz, not Duran Duran?

Ole Phat Stu said...

Rolling Stones "I can't get no
Old Age Pension"

Attilatthefrog said...

Kylie Minogue - Walked under ladder, hit by falling paint pot - not so lucky, lucky, lucky now,eh?

Rick Astley - Given her up, now getting a divorce

Keith Smith said...

See me at playtime! I've told you before that writing rubbish is not conducive to good blogging.

Oh! Sorry, that was Dave,(PM).

Prospect Parkour said...

That Adam Ant, he wasn't even a highwayman. Perfect example of living a lie. Oh, and if you watch the video for Heaven 17's "Temptation" it's clearly a comedy sketch starring Kevin Eldon. Totally anachronistic.

Prospect Parkour said...

Back in the 1980s I was just a nipper growing up close to Prospect Park, west Reading's premier dog toilet. I remember playing football there with my mates, whenever we could find a vaguely green patch in the carpet of faeces. Turns out it's really easy to score a goal when the keeper is afraid to touch the ball. Back then the old house in the centre of the park known as the "Mansion House" was derelict, as was the sinister old hospital nearby. It would have been the perfect setting for a found-footage horror movie, except for the fact that the nubile American college students who had strayed into a place they weren't supposed to be would constantly be going "like, OMG, what did I just step in?". The horror, the horror...

Richard Wintle said...

Shock horror - Culture Club really *does* want you to hurt them. Get in line, please...